Lets Talk: The effects Social Media & Self-Esteem

The other day, I was staying awake at midnight, with all these thoughts coming through my head thinking about my life and my schoolmates from elementary and high school.

Let’s say, I stayed up late looking through Instagram, a little bit of “stalking”, post by post of people’s “perfect” life and how much I felt that my life wasn’t good enough compared to their life. With that said, I felt sad and my self-esteem went down low.

Lets Talk_ Social media & self-esteem

It was a horrible feeling and I’m pretty sure people felt the same way when they go on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter & Tumblr, seeing how much their co-workers, friends, and ex-classmates are going about in their life, posting things like showing off their vacation, new job and living the life etc etc.

It’s sad but then I went on Google and searched up “social media & self-esteem“, looking for advice on how to overcome this. I learned so much reading through those posts and I’m glad to say that not everything is what it’s seemed in their photos.


One post I’ve read was Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Self-Esteem—and How to Stop It by Jamie Friedlander. Her post was very relatable to myself and informational. I’m not sure if I’m a bad friend but sometimes I too felt jealous sometimes when my friends have good news in her life. I’m happy for her but deep down, I’m just full of envy at how her life is going and what not.

“It’s a natural human instinct to judge our progress or success in life by seeing how we match up against others—what psychologist Leon Festinger called “social comparison theory” in the 1950s.”

And that was right.


I did a post the other day about how to overcome judgment from others and it just seems like human nature to me. We can’t be helped to try to compare ourselves to someone else unless we learn how to stay true to ourselves.


“Today’s teenagers call this FOMO, or “fear of missing out.””

As still considered a teenager/young adult, I too felt that way. About others getting their license at 18 while I’m here still having my learners permit. About other people near my age socialising in real life and hanging out with their friends while I’m here at home, alone, voice calling my friends and having fewer friends than they have. It’s very hard to contemplate the feeling that I’m missing out on things that “normal” teenagers are doing nowadays.

Then there is one where they have part-time jobs yet here I am, unemployed because of my social anxiety and the fact that it’s really hard to find jobs nowadays. I did have work experience back then but I felt that I want to be my own leader and not get bossed around.

I felt better when others are on the same page as me but it just goes away for a few seconds until I felt my self-esteem lower again. And all of these revolves around YouTube & Instagram for me.



There are also times where I felt my self-esteem lower comparing my own blog (YES MY BLOG) against other bloggers out there with high traffic views. The world out there feels like a competition and it feels like I’ve lost. But my blog here is different to others.


I want to share my views and opinions, I want to help those and myself on how to become someone better (hence why I chose the niche Lifestyle & Mental Wellness). I may be interested in business and entrepreneur stuff like how to grow your blog etc. but I felt like that topic is for those who are knowledgeable about these types of things (I’m not haHAA).

The only thing is, it’s never too late to find the real you.

The thing is, behind those social media photos is not what it actually is behind the scenes. Along the lines of that, your life is just not “there” yet. We’re just in the beginning on starting somewhere to get to that destination.

Believe it or not, 2 years ago, I had C’s grades due to procrastination and personal issues. Last year, I got to B’s & A’s.


The secret to that is, never giving up and working hard. Always work hard to where you’re going to get and someday, you’ll be where you want to be.

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Author: zyrakuma

Hi! I’m Ellen and I’m a student who blogs about lifestyle, self-wellbeing, productivity & relationship advice to make your life as simple and stress-free. I love art and playing video games. I have a pet duck (yes, I did do a post on that) and I’m currently studying Graphic Design since I have an interest in designs.

13 thoughts on “Lets Talk: The effects Social Media & Self-Esteem”

  • An important topic and it does make me think what the NEXT generation of young kids will be like. I think they do need to be so something taught at school on social media and how it can affect you. xx

    • Simply what I was literally thinking when I wrote this post! Agreed, I do hope they teach more about this stuff in school globally like they do about STIs, health, safe sex etc.

  • This is such a real issue and a relevant topic worth of discussion. The bullying, teen suicide, self esteem issue, relationship issues all seem to have increased with the rise of social media. We have to find a way to teach people how to channel that energy into something more productive and then understand that they are just photos and not your friends or their life.

    • Agreed! Last year, one of my favourite Korean pop idols (you might know who he is since it was early Dec and on the news a lot) suicide due to not being “perfect” enough and getting hate over social media. It’s very sad that the more this issue is being ignored, the more lives we are losing. I think your idea is smart and hopefully we’ll be able to find a way to teach more children and teens growing up the ways of social media and “perfectioness” in the future.

  • I love this post. It’s speak so much truth. I do find myself comparing myself to other people on social media. What we don’t k is is the behind the scenes. Some one once told me you can’t even someone life on social media because they control what they want to put out there. The 15 mins they share with us is not all there is to their life.

    • That is very true! I agree and know that we can’t control their own social media sharings and you’re right. All we do it let it be and move on. There is always something behind that 15 mins of flawless photos! 🙂

  • This post is awesome, you said this FOMO thing very neatly. We must compare ourselves only to our past self to check our progress but not others. All of us don’t have the same path, so we are completely different from each other.

    • I actually never thought about comparing my past selves because usually, I want to leave my past behind and move on.I might start comparing my old self to my new :’) Thank you and I totally agree, we’re all completely different from each other!

  • You are so right, it can be so easy to get caught up in the comparison trap. The thing to remember is that God created you for a unique path. He loves you and you were in His thoughts before you were even born. If you are living by His design for you with your gifts and passions, then nothing can compare to that!

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