What it feels like to lose a friend + Storytime || the racist ex-crush

Recently, I’ve had a falling out with a friend (I’m not sure if I should call him a ‘friend’) over something stupid.

When I mean stupid, I mean REAL ridiculous.

But we’re are not going to get into that (sorry!)
But I will be talking about what it feels like to lose a friend from my different experiences.


Maybe you guys have similar experiences too in the past?


So, ‘what does it feel like to lose a friend’?

The definition of a friend: a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations (e.g “she’s a friend of mine”) ~Google


Typically, my definition of a “friend” is someone who listens to you, shares some mutual likings of hobbies etc, have the same sense of humor and a person who especially listens to you at your downfall moments.


But there are some experiences that they weren’t a friend. An example of this is from my older post “STORYTIME: My EX Best Friend”(If you haven’t read it, go read it after this!)
In the past, I had many people, go & stay. People even came back but went away again. I kind of got trust issues after that.


But that’s how the world works right? People that were once your friends change. They start hanging out with other people that influence them and they turn into them.

I want to tell you about this “friend” I had that was once my friend but we turned different ways. (No it’s not the same girl from “My Ex-Best Friend” story.)


This goes way back to hmm.. pretty much my whole primary school years (grade 1 to 6).

Let’s call her Diana. So Diana and I go way back from the first year of school. We met in the same class. We were pretty much like BFFs when we first met. We both had the same sense of humor.

During grade 2-4 we started to drift apart.

We both hung out with different groups of people.


So, at the start of grade 5, we were put in the same class. We hung out again during year 5-6.

Although, in year 6, I started to drift away from her because we were both going to different high schools and because, she started to become really embarrassing (I know, what a douche thing for me to do. I really don’t like getting embarrassed in public.)
So in year 7, I hung out with the group of girls (the girls that were at the start of my ex-best friend story).


In the near end of year 7, she added me on Facebook.

I was thinking “oh, she finally has Facebook?”(back in primary school, her parents didn’t allow her to get FB.)

So we text and had conversations.

That’s how I met with her cousin, let’s call her Tanisha. So, me, Diana & Tanisha became instant best friends.


What it feels like to lose a friend & Storytime the racist ex-crush


We use to use a website that is typically like Skype but can share YouTube videos without having the share our computer screens (edit: It’s called Tinychat).

Diana then invited her friend which use to go to our old primary school but I really didn’t notice her because she transferred in year 5 or 6.

Let’s call her Emily. I became friends with her but not really close friends because I didn’t like her attitude.

A girl that I was on friends with on a video game introduced me to her guy friend. Let’s call him Kevin. Kevin & I had a conversation and we became instant best friends. So I invited him to our group chat on Tinychat.

We would go on Tinychat every day after we got home from school just to have conversations and share videos and pretty much chill.

At that time, One Direction was growing popular. They became instantly big fans of them. I didn’t really like them at all. As they were crushing in One Direction, I started to have a secret crush on Kevin (I must confess, he was cute and all).

At the same time, Emily also had a crush on Kevin (which I didn’t know).

We would always go on Tinychat and Kevin and Emily would always flirt with each other.


I was of course, jealous and angry at the same time.


So later on, I found out from Diana that Kevin and Emily were secretly dating. I was sad and of course jealous.

We all kind of separated after that.

When Diana posted a picture of me on Facebook, I was pretty embarrassed.

Kevin found out the picture and messaged me if that was me.


I said yes, and as a racist fuck he is, he started swearing and saying that I was “Asian” then he blocked me after that.
I was like “what the actual-“.
So days went by and Diana messages me telling me that Emily’s parents caught her and Kevin dating.
So both Emily and Kevin got in trouble and they had to split up. Secretly, I was like “HAHA, that’s what you get. Karma!”.


So yeah, he was a racist idiot. But he got what he deserves.


Back to the topic, when I lose a friend, I feel lost and confused.

But after a while, I am glad they aren’t in my life anymore because it’s better to have no toxic friends in your life who are trying to get you down.
Plus, now I realized who my true friends are and remember, if you lose a friend, don’t feel down.


You didn’t lose someone special, it was their loss to lose you.


Have a great day guys! Don’t take your true friends for granted ~

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Author: zyrakuma

Hi! I’m Ellen and I’m a student who blogs about lifestyle, self-wellbeing, productivity & relationship advice to make your life as simple and stress-free. I love art and playing video games. I have a pet duck (yes, I did do a post on that) and I’m currently studying Graphic Design since I have an interest in designs.

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