Hey, hi, hello there,
I have many different stories of my past relationships and some of them were TOXIC.
It felt like being trapped in a cell.
Not physically but mentally abusive.
So that got me thinking, maybe I should do a post about this.
You know, to also warn others who find some signs that they might even be in one!
I also did some research on toxic relationships (sources will be linked below).
The typical, “it’s your fault” “No! That’s definitely your fault this time” and over and over again.
None of you goes to an agreement on who is at fault here.
One even tries to see who’s better in the relationship.
You both even start ignoring each other for more days without confirmation, making you guys feeling of mixed emotions such as guilty, angry, sad or distant.
Let’s be honest here,
if you know that you’re at fault but still blame your partner, maybe there’s something going on here that you might not have realised.
But if it’s your partner, there maybe you should probably talk to him/her.
What I mean by this are the ones that try to switch up your life.
Let me give you an example… Hmm… Say you want to work at this place ever since it was your dream to work here even though it might take a little more work to get in but then your partner disagrees with you working there and he/she wants you to work at another place that has a more “higher salary”.
Can’t you see that your partner wants to change your life and blocks your dreams and goals?
But if it was for a more reasonable reason, then you’re pretty fine.
3. BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP… JUST TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
You know, being in a relationship revolves around being there for each other, having a future with them, working together to making each other grow and especially loving them for who they are.
But there are some that only wants to be in a relationship so they wouldn’t be alone or for some other advantages that I’m not gonna list but you can probably work them out.
If you feel like you or your partner is using each other for the sake of each other, being completed or for your own emotions,
4. JEALOUSY.. NOT THE TYPICAL CUTE JEALOUS
You’ve read the subtitle, it’s not that type of friendly, cute and mad jealousy you get from your significant other, oh no, there’s more than that.
They’re either really jealous to check your phone often, grab your phone and block nearly all your contacts, the ones that avoid letting you go out and hang out of your friends and definitely the ones that try to threaten you and hurt you either way.
5. CONSTANT COMPLAINING & ARGUING
Blaming can be included in this.
I mean, it’s healthy for couples to complain and argue a little bit but if it does happen nearly every single day or week, you guys should either talk it out.
If neither of you talks it out, well, there might be something wrong.
6. NO SUPPORT OR COURAGE WHAT SO EVER
When one person in the relationship has a problem and tells the other, then one should be able to be supportive, care and show sympathy for the other.
But if it ends up with them being horrible and again, blames you for your problems, or doesn’t give a flying feather, well then that can quite be sad actually.
No couple should be selfish EVER.
Then what’s the point in being in a relationship in the first place if they’re only gonna care about themselves and not their significant other?
7. GIFTS = SOLVED ISSUE?
Uhh don’t get more wrong,
I wouldn’t mind a special gift from my partner but if it goes from using money just so the other can forgive you, that’s definitely not a good happy ending (unless you really like getting gifts).
When a partner has any conflicts and fights, they should solve it by communicating with other, not just buying gifts just so you would avoid the problem.
It can also cause the problem to arise in the future.
I can’t blame you if your partner gets you a gift on a special day but when it comes to solving a problem or issue, then you gotta know that that is NO WAY on how to build a healthy relationship.
8. DOUBTS & QUESTIONS
Questions can be great when you two are trying to get to know each other but when you start to think of doubts and questions like “will he/she leave me?” “what if he/she falls for someone else?” then there’s something wrong.
I mean, cmon, isn’t that the reason why you’re dating each other?
You don’t need doubts if you feel like you’re suited for each other.
Just be glad that he/she picked you and not someone else.
If you feel like you keep questioning your relationships, then maybe he/she is not the one.
Or you’re just self-conscious?
9. BEING TWO PEOPLE IN ONE MIND
You and your partner are fine being one person.
You know, same matching clothes, all the same likings, same taste in stuff …
Two couples should be two people, with TWO different personalities.
Like what people say “opposites attract” (that’s how I was attracted to my boyfriend).
I wouldn’t mind liking some same things but when it becomes like one whole person, then I don’t see this relationship going anywhere.
10. ISN’T THE PAST THE PAST THOUGH?
The past can’t be changed.
But if your partner can’t stop thinking about their or your past (could be something to do with your past relationships) or judges you for them then maybe he/she isn’t the one.
You could try to talk to them about it and explain it so they would understand but if they can’t stop thinking of it or uses it as an excuse for your next argument, then why should you be with them if they can’t accept it and move on to the current or future?
Everyone has flaws and mistakes.
Even your partner.
11. ABUSE & SEXUAL HARASSMENT
I shouldn’t explain this one.
If you feel like you’re being abused or being sexually harassed by your partner then you need to leave ASAP.
Talk to someone you trust or call your local hotline.
This is something that is serious and should not be placed on ANYONE.
Sometimes, people do actually fall in love in a toxic relationship and can’t get out. If you’re one of them, I suggest you check out my post on
A well as that, if you see any of these signs I’ve listed or the ones in the sources below, you should rethink your relationship or just leave ASAP.
Everyone is beautiful and should not suffer like this!
6 TOXIC RELATIONSHIP HABITS MOST PEOPLE THINK ARE NORMAL
The Difference Between A Mature Relationship And An Immature Relationship
Hey, hi, hello there,
I’m Ellen Tran, an 18-year-old Australian/Vietnamese lifestyle blogger at ZyraKuma. I blog about lifestyle, self-wellbeing, productivity and relationships. I hope to inspire you guys and help those in need to become their better selves as well as combine art and blogging together (my two favourite things).
I’m currently a student, learning about art and design. Hopefully achieving to become an Illustrator because I love drawing.