I woke up on the 27th of October 2017 with these weird relief feeling in me.
I haven’t been feeling like this for quite some time now but I want to share why I felt this way.
I couldn’t sleep that night because I stayed up studying.
The moment I fell asleep, I was somehow back in this school dream where I had the same mixture of classmates from primary and high school.
But this time, it didn’t include the whole school, just a few couples of people that I didn’t hang out much with during those times.
But remember my bully in “Collection of Primary School Memories” blog post?
She appeared again.
In this current dream that I didn’t know why she was there again.
But this time, she was in her teenage years, not elementary years.
So it sets out with our classmates and us going to this Sciencework excursion that we use to go so many times back in the days of grade 1 to grade 6.
Somehow, we had to pick a partner to choose to line up with. I was hanging out with apparently the “popular girls” but still, I felt alone. My bully and my ex-friend were fighting over another girl that was also my ex-friend in primary school.
My ex-friend was nice to me for some reason and no, we never had this “drama fight” before the ending of a friendship. Same for the other girl.
We just split ways.
It just so happens that my bully lost and had to partner up with me.
I wasn’t mad or anything but I felt anxious because she was one of the biggest bullies that bullied me.
So, unexpectedly, she grabbed my arm and hoops it around my arm.
It was pretty awkward to be honest because we were once close friends but then she started being a terrible human being towards me due to that breaking out (go read the “Collection of Primary School Memories” so you can understand after this!).
It was a dream however so I forgot some parts but as so we speak, let’s skip to the ending part that I remembered.
It was the end of the day and my bully and I was sitting at a table, just us two chilling.
I got up my courage and told her the mean things she had done to me back in the days.
She has this look on her face where she felt guilty and apologised.
It was the look of sincere and tbh, I’d forgiven her.
She might have said something along the lines of her being “immature” and that she is gone out of it.
So that’s when my dream ended with my whole family being noisy and getting ready to go to work at 6am.
But you know, I woke up with the feeling of relief and soft-hearted.
It may have not happened in real life, but I do feel like the pains and grudges that happened back then shouldn’t be remembered.
You should forgive and forget.
Even if the person didn’t apologise, you would always move on to paying more attention to your current self.