How I Overcame My Fear Of Failure And Became A Better Person

Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success. – Robert T. Kiyosaki

Hey guys

Growing up in a millennial generation, I was never taught about how failure equals to a road to success.

My parents, my teachers, my friends and everyone else around me told me that if I ever fail in something, it means that I fail in life. Aka only having that one single chance to succeed.

But that ain’t true.

Thanks to the internet, I learned that failing will lead you to greater success. If only I knew about it 2 years ago, however, I am glad it was this year.

I was binge watching Hannah Ashton’s videos #BossBabe when I finally came to a realisation that not only can you be able to achieve your goals if you work hard to your best abilities and passion, you can become a better and more successful person if you faced your own fears.

Yep, that’s right. Fear is the reason why some of us are never able to get to that end destination. Fear is the reason why we go to a different direction. And fear is the reason why we regret things in the future.

Here’s a personal story from me. About my own failures in the past.

I was really deep into a depression. I didn’t show it because I wanted to look like a cheery and happy person. I wanted to make people happy. But that took a toll on me.

I requested to move back to grade 10. Which means I failed year 10 due to my absents. More than 100+ days absent (WOW that’s quite a lot of absences!)

Last year, I felt like I regretted asking to move back a year due to my absent. I missed a ton of work and got a lower grade. All I did was just play video games at home and stay up late to play more.

Then I would wake up the next day with a serious headache and migraine that I would pretend to have a “stomach-ache” just so I can take a day off. Which ends up weeks and weeks of days off.

So again, last year, it repeated.

I took way too many absences off because I was seriously suffering from clinical depression.

It kept repeating in my head that I’m a failure. I wished I just went, go to school, come back home and repeat.

But I seriously couldn’t get out of bed.

My parents didn’t understand and felt that I was just “lazy”. Being a lazy person myself in the past, if I were lazy, I would have just got up and gone anyways but I felt like I was glued and strapped to my bed.

I’ve been thinking of being homeschooled or online school for a long time now.

I tried persuading my parents to homeschool me but they didn’t allow me.

I did everything to persuade my parents to let me be independent in my studies and do online school.

Again, all it made them angry and saying that I’m not independent or mature enough or that no one would be able to discipline me.

I cried after that day.

Everything came rumbling down on me and I knew I was alone on this matter.

My social anxiety was causing me to fear to talk to people in school.

Fear asking questions. Fear asking for help. And the fear of being rejected.

But I didn’t stop.

I did all my research on online school (I even did a post on the pros vs cons here) so I persuaded my mum when she was feeling calm. All of my ability to have my own independence studying.

And you know what? She says she’ll think about it. It gave me hope.

But then again, my vice principal from my old school said he didn’t know what to do with me.

He can’t make me go back to year 10. He can’t move me to year 11. So, I told my mum at the time that I can’t move to year 11.

And she was like “fine. Go ahead, you keep your words”.

I was super happy, I felt nervous because the application sheet from my online school says I have to get a principal from my past or current school to sign it to allow me to do online school.

He would tell my dad and I that he would have to discuss it with the principal.

So, we waited days and days for their phone call back, waiting for them if they are either not going to sign it or sign it.

But you know what? My dad drove over there to get the papers back and when he gave it to me, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

They signed it! I was so freaking happy.

It was like my heart jumped out of me from all the joy that I couldn’t experience years ago.

To fast forward to currently (the day I release this post). After that happened to me, I’m currently super happy with my life.

– I’m getting A+ – B’s in my grades. I used to get C’s back in public school.
– I’m focusing on my blog and writing as much as I can when I use too while learning about the blogging business.
– Being organised (using study planners, calendars, diaries etc.)
– Having flexibility in my time and being able to occupy it productively
– Studying Graphic Design courses along with Illustrator, InDesign, and Photoshop
– I learned how to edit videos using Sony Vegas Pro
– Improving my visual art skills
– Learning so much more about life, relationships, history and much more from the internet
– Not really important but getting better at League of Legends
– I learned all about self-development and self-care
– Exercising daily

All these things I couldn’t do if I was still in public school. I always wanted to be independent but if I gave up trying to convince my parents, then I would never have succeeded the life I am in now today.

What about you? Have you had any fail moments but succeeded in the end? Let me know!

~ Ellen

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