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The word of “Giving Up” or failing.
I’ve given up many of times even till now. Even days ago and last year, I’ve just thought it was worthless to actually keep going.
Personally, one time of giving up was a week ago. I had people in the past ask me if I would do art request or request to draw them a picture and I told them no or sorry, I only do commissions. At first, I thought to myself before opening up an Etsy shop that I would get plenty or so many people commissioning me and paying for my artwork. On the first day of opening, I had one person favourite my listing but no commissions?
Apparently, the reality is of selling on the first day is by chance of luck or if you got plenty of fans or people asking for you to commission for them. Not even a single person commissioned for me. Even as I leave it for weeks on end.
I’m not telling you this just for you to commission me for my artwork. And of course, I’m not typing this up telling you that I’m doing it because I really need money. I saying this just to get it off my chest and what tell the truth.
That truth is, it takes a really long time to get successful unless you got lucky.
So what happened to my Etsy store? I closed it after about a month and moved to Deviant art for my commissions there since it’s the right site for my genre (which was art).
Now, I looked through other commissioning journals and went through some that were pretty, let’s say, “bad”. But those had different people asking for them to draw them this or that and I was like “hmm maybe I can be successful in this”. Once I set up my journal, I shared it on those popular commissioning groups and even added to the job forum. At least get one commissioning I thought. Nope. No messages, notes or comment. Not a single person.
I felt worthless and ashamed. I was thinking to myself “was it because my artwork was bad? The anatomy? Or because the pricing was high? Or maybe because I need to build up my following?”
(Idk, let me know if $10-$14 is high for a first time commissioner?)
Well, once I look at it this way, there are different reasons why I’m not getting someone to commission me.
But then there are times where I felt relieved because I had a lot going around in my personal life like so much school work and updating my blog.
I’m reading this book called “You are Enough” by Cassie Mendoza-Jones and she talks about her personal experience with self-worth, perfectionist and success. Every time I read this book, I feel a sense of relief and happiness inside me that it’s all just in my angry mind telling me that I’m not good enough.
And you know what?
I’m not going to listen to that side of my brain that is telling me to give up even if I don’t get a single commission. I love drawing and if I improve more in my art, someday in the future, I’ll be like those popular Deviant art artist that get a lot of commissions (probably not but at least get some people commissioning for me).
This thing in here *points at my brain* is not going to stop me from giving up on something that I’m passionate about. I love drawing and even if I feel burned out, I will continue to improve and get to that stage where I start to get good.
I love my blog and I love writing. If I had given up like maybe months ago like my old blogs, I wouldn’t have reached the 1k mark of views monthly (which I’m really happy about!). One post that is contently getting plenty of views is “A Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend That Was Never Sent” and it’s on the 3rd top of the Google search results (what?!)