Growing up, have you ever felt like you missed out on life lessons you wished you learned sooner? or have you regretted something in your past life but you realised the important factors for your future?
I know it’s pretty tough to realise that you’re going to think back to your past self and say “man, I really wish I knew this sooner than later”.
By learning now, you already understand what is right and wrong. And people make mistakes (even the most successful people in the past).
On Quora, I’ve been requested many of times with the same questions related to the topic on “what is something that you regret?” or “something that you wish you knew sooner”. I wish I could reply to all of them. That’s why I’m creating this post.
Now, these are life lessons that I learned by myself or that I learned from people later on in life than I should have.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes in the past and sometimes, I regret doing those mistakes but all I can say to myself now is, “the past is the past and I can’t change that“.
Well, behold! I’m going to share with you about 6 important life lessons learned throughout my years growing up.
So grab your mug of coffee or tea and let’s get right into it!
As we begin our post, I would like to note that I am in no way professional about this advice and I am giving you advice based on my own experience and knowledge from those experiences.
So if you want to learn more about how to be successful or live a life that you want, I recommend checking out Simple Truths for all the latest books, videos, and printables.
It is ok to make mistakes
One of the most important life lessons I learned is overcoming mistakes. Some parents will discipline you when you’re a toddler and before you graduate high school.
Your parents might have told you to not do this or if you do this, you will get in huge trouble. You could get hit even (if you’re in an Asian family, it’s common).
As you turn 18, you’re free to do anything. You have choices to make and if those choices don’t go right, then it’s all on you and you are responsible for it.
But it’s ok to make mistakes when you’re younger. Everyone makes mistakes and get forgiven once or twice in their lifetime. Those mistakes are the reason for learning and improving. For example, when you were in maths class, you got the multiplication timetables wrong or in English class, you spelled a word wrong or even driving a car for the first time!
But if you keep trying to practice those mistakes, you’ll learn to figure out the right answer from the wrong and then you’ll end up finding it easy in the long run.
Like now you know your multiplication timetables by heart, you learn how to spell out a word without having to look back on the word or even passing your driver’s test and earning your driver’s license.
I’ve made mistakes in the past. Something that I really regret doing was bullying my ex-friends when I was in 8th grade. I know I know, you’re probably thinking that I’m a terrible person and that I should burn in hell for doing what I did to those girls but trust me, I learned from my past behaviours to realise that being a terrible person was not an option!
I was so insecure about myself and I was pretty jealous (appearance and cultural wise) and I had family problems at home. If it makes you feel better, I had bad karma for doing what I did later on but I also had good karma for fixing what I did and moving on.
You’re not weak when you ask for help
When was the last time someone told you to go to therapy because you were depressed? Or the time when you need help on a project but you knew you didn’t want to ask for help because you think it would be embarrassing and that your pride will fall?
It’s 100% fine to ask for help even if you think that you’re weak. Actually, you’re not weak. You may have that delusion in your mind telling you that people may say “you are weak” for asking for help but that’s actually the opposite. I say that asking for help is the strongest decision you will ever make for yourself.
When I was in school, I never asked for any help even if I didn’t understand the question. I was too embarrassed to raise my hand up because I didn’t want to seem like a “dumb Asian”. In the end, I got low grades just because I didn’t ask for help for those countless times in public school.
At the time where I was clinically depressed, I thought that going to therapy is for people who are “weak” and I wanted myself to appear strong (hence I always put on a smiley face whenever I’m out in public). That getting help was embarrassing just because of my own stupid pride.
I wished I did talk to my parents about going to therapy and it could help me earlier with my mental state than in the long run. I tried BetterHelp the other day and it really did make a difference in how talking to someone about your problems will be an actual relief. Once I start my new course, I’m up for that free counselling!
Important Life Lessons – Follow your Guts
I learned this sooner rather than later. I’ve seen many crime documentaries and news where younger girls get kidnapped by an older man and then later on killed. I know, sounds disturbing right? (but crime documentaries are very interesting).
You’re probably wondering “how does that even relate to following your own gut?”.
Girls, I want to tell you that if you’re travelling alone (especially at night), follow your own gut if you feel like there is something suspicious and wrong in your surrounding area. If you see a man/woman who makes you feel uncomfortable, follow your own instincts and leave and get help immediately!
If you’re talking to a random stranger online and they’re giving out these weird vibes, stay clear and block them. Never meet them in person when you’re by yourself because you might never know what they’re expecting.
I use to be friends with a person who I met online on a video game and you know, I had this strange suspension about him whenever I text him. I even heard him voice talk and it gave me negative energy. Weeks went by and as he was changing his ‘habits’.
I knew that the moment he asked me out, I had to reject. He started harassing me and manipulating me after rejecting him so I blocked him. Surprise, surprise, he ended up creating another Facebook account and added me on there. It was really creepy and take note, I was only 14 at the time!
That everyone has flaws and not everyone can be perfect
We all are human and we humans cannot be 100% perfect. This excludes video game characters or Barbie because we all know she is only a creation of a self-perfect ideal model for younger girls.
I can conclude that not myself, anyone, and those models you see on Instagram are perfect either.
Let me give you an example of a “perfect and flawless figure” who seems perfect to the public eye but deep and hidden behind those flawless figures is something dark that you cannot imagine! Social media & media in general only show the harmful side to gain recognition.
Those perfect figures are Kpop idols. I’m pretty sure you guessed it right? Close enough? Look, I’ve encountered many fangirls who want to marry their ‘senpai’ (*cough* BTS and EXO fangirls *cough*) but they know they only want to marry them for their public figure, talents and their appearances.
But there are dark sides behind the public like Kpop idols being anorexic (not eating enough), lack of sleep due to their busy schedules, their busy schedules in general and treatment from their own company.
Can we also talk about the recent episodes of ex-Big Bang member Seungri and his group chat? It’s a crime and offence for prostitution and if you didn’t know about it, here’s a link to a news article on it.
I was such a big fan of Big Bang and Seungri was one of my favourite members (G-Dragon taking the crown in my book. Sorry). It’s such a disappointment when I found out the shocking news afterwards.
I will not go deep in topics on the dark side of Kpop in this post but I will link videos that will give a more defined topic on this subject.
You should compare yourself to your past rather than compare yourself to other people
I use to compare myself many times to my classmates or other people who were successful, who had more friends or was prettier than me. Even to this day, I still compare my blog to those successful blogs.
No one told me that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to those people and I can tell you why. We (again) are humans who live in a world full of judgements.[Insert Ariana Grande 7 Rings here.]
That’s right, we see something we want, we want it because of how that thing made the other person successful or how they want it for their possession.
Let me give you an example. If you were that person who was scrolling through Instagram hating on successful Instagram models with over 1 million followers and typed something nasty in one of her/his posts, what would you feel? Envy? Jealousy? Guilt? Regret?
You’re probably thinking deep inside that you want her/his body or looks. Next thing you know, you keep looking through her/his posts and feel so hopeless, insecure and self-conscious about yourself just like how I was when I bullied my ex-friends.
It’s best to start focusing on yourself. Compare yourself to your past self rather than comparing yourself to someone else. Figure out your own mistakes and ask yourself “what would I want to change myself to become the best I can be?”. The more you compare yourself, the more you’re improving yourself for the better. In a good way.
A way to conquer the feeling of not having enough is practising gratitude. Gratitude can help with many benefits such as boosting your mood, coping with hard times and enjoying your life more with people around you (family and friends).
I recommend having a journal with you and writing in daily 3 things you’re grateful for. You can also expand those 3 things (which makes it better).
- 10 Things You Should Add To Your Self Care Bucket List
- 10 Effortless Things To Add To Your Daily Routine (that take 5 Minutes or Less)
- How to be Happy with Yourself (6 Effective Happiness Tricks)
To stop procrastinating
The last on the list from my life lessons learned is procrastination. The number one problem in the world.
Don’t get me wrong, I was just procrastinating a few seconds ago while typing up this post and I can admit, I’m pretty ashamed of myself. And even yesterday, I was being lazy the whole day instead of completing my task (which I had to complete at midnight).
You need self-motivation and discipline. They are the two main things when it comes to doing the tasks that you’re expected to do.
The reason why you’re procrastinating is that you’re avoiding on doing the hard work and brainwashing yourself that you have more time in the world (your future self can NOT thank you for this). That’s why I wished someone told me ways on how I can conquer procrastinating.
So if you’re the type of person who usually procrastinates, it’s best to read these posts or books (as I won’t go too in-depth on this post):
- 7 Strategies to Overcome Procrastination and Laziness
- The 5 Best Productivity Hacks for Great Success
- How to Have a Productive Morning Routine using these Tactics
- How to get Motivation to Work (17 Effective Strategies)
But also, figure out a tool which will help motivate you to complete your task.
A few examples I can give you are rewarding yourself at the end for completing the task of setting a timer using the Pomodoro technique in order for you to do the task in those set times while having breaks in between (breaks are the important part).
Another way to make a habit of completing your tasks is by using a planner. I use an Erin Condren planner for scheduling dates and events as well as my daily to-do list. I did a review on the planner if you want to check it out here.
- 9 Productive Things To Do On Your Phone
- 10 Cheap & Inexpensive Self Care Ideas Anyone Can Do
- 5 Magnificent Ways to Achieve Your Goals in Life
I hope these important life lessons I learned taught you a few things. If you didn’t know about these lessons before, I’m glad to have told you.
Have you learned a thing or two from my life lessons? Have you, yourself, had some lessons from failure?
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