I won’t be writing today’s post (awww) but…. today we do have a very special and lovely featured guest here today.
Wrae Sanders from Wrae Meredith Blogs!!
I highly recommend you go check out her blog after this. You won’t regret it!
Self-Love in Today’s World
Today’s world is a loud, busy and sometimes harsh one. We read magazines, see pictures on social media, and see models on TV that we feel we should emulate. I’m not sure where that comes from, but it’s a longtime issue. Like millions of others, I have struggled with loving myself and my body.
I’ve got three kids and have gained and lost 60 lbs afterward. My body has changed a lot. I’m 5’2” and weigh somewhere in the 170s. I don’t weigh myself often because I get mad when I don’t see numbers I like. I don’t even own a scale. I’ve got stretch marks everywhere I can think of.
I didn’t even want to wear leggings for a while because I was afraid of how I would look in them, and guess what I am wearing today? Leggings. I LOVE THEM.
As a kid, I was not the prettiest girl. I had horrible curly hair, weighed probably what I do now, but shorter and had really bad style. I read magazines with almost no girls that looked like me in it. I’m biracial and grew up in the 1990s so it was a bit rough to find models that looked like me. I hated looking like I did because I didn’t look like anyone else. I didn’t appreciate or my curly hair until much later.
Through the years, I tried to stay skinny like my friends and the models I saw but my metabolism was not about to allow that. I also like to eat, so that didn’t help.
Here I am in my 30s. I eat any and everything, I wear what I want and I do not care one bit what anyone thinks about how I look. I actually like my curves. I love my curls and keep them short to avoid complete loss of control. I gained 60 pounds before I got to this point, but I’m okay with that. I also gained more love for myself along the way.
I lost the 60 pounds because I was stressed and on the edge of filing for divorce. I was so unhappy with my life. I was constantly in the gym and barely ate. My doctor was a bit concerned with this because at the time, I had type 2 Diabetes and I was considered underweight. This was not a good thing because it could put more strain on my already stressed pancreas, make it stop working entirely, and would throw me into type 1. Nope. She recommended I gain about 10-15 lbs to help this issue.
I gained 60.
The main event that happened to cause that was the loss of a close friend to suicide about a week after that appointment. I became very depressed and began eating and drinking to deal with my pain. I stopped exercising and got a bit more sedentary. (I have since got back into yoga.)
How did I learn to love myself again? Therapy. Lots of therapy. My therapist has helped guide me through the body issues I have had and learn to love myself.
1. Appreciate what your body has done for you.
My body has done a lot. Three kids. That’s a LOT. I’ve also survived a mini-stroke, thyroid surgery (the left side is no more) and I no longer have type 2. I’d say that’s a lot. Make a list if you need to but try to remember what your body has done for you, and you will appreciate it a lot more.
2. Remember what really helps those models and actresses out: filters, Photoshop, and other similar things.
Models are models for a reason, they’re gorgeous. That is how the world operates. They do have help, however. That is where filters and other things come in to make you believe they never have a bad hair day (highly trained and well-paid hairstylists), breakouts (makeup artists) and are never bloated (trainers and Spanx). Maybe some of them are naturally that great looking, but it’s not without a ton of maintenance. Maintenance that most of us don’t begin to have time for.
3. Self-esteem is a must. It is part of loving yourself.
I have a whole Pinterest board devoted to quotes, and many of them are to remind myself of how awesome I am. If I am having a not so good day, I’ll take a peek at it. I had to start small and make a list of the things I liked about myself and my body and build from there. Work on this part of yourself the best way that you can start small if you need to. The part that matters is that you start.
It is not an easy task, but self-love is possible. The love is inside you just waiting to come out!
Wrae is a parenting/mental health blogger in Louisville, KY. She has a BA in Clinical Psychology and a decade in mental health work experience.
When she is not writing, she enjoys reading, true crime podcasts, and movies. She is married and has three children.
Want more from Wrae? Check out her social media & where to contact her –
Note from Ellen:
Thank you Wrae for this inspirational post! It’s amazing how your body can handle three kids, survived a mini-stroke, thyroid surgery and cured type 2! Would love to have at least 2-3 kids one day in the future but I guess I’m still young right now to have kids haha. This definitely helped me acknowledge more of my body weight and appreciate my body for what it is.
Related Post: GUEST POST WITH ELLEN