- 21Shares
With this day and age, social media comparison has become a real problem among our society. Many young teens to adults use the internet 247, it tends to have an effect on their everyday lives (including ours).
The other day, I was staying awake at midnight, with all these thoughts coming through my head thinking about my life and my schoolmates from elementary and high school.
Let’s say, I stayed up late looking through Instagram. A little bit of “stalking” people’s post of their “perfect” life and how much I felt that my life wasn’t good enough compared to their life.
With that said, I kept thinking about social media comparison and what effect is having on others.
But I want to tell you that you don’t have to feel that way. Here’s what no one tells you about social media comparison.
So grab your mug of coffee or tea and let’s get right into it!
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What Social Media Comparison Feels Like
Do you know what social media comparison feels like? It’s a horrible feeling and I’m pretty sure you felt the same way when they go on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter & Tumblr.
Seeing how much their co-workers, friends, and ex-classmates are going about in their life, posting things like showing off their vacation, new job, and living life etc.
It’s sad but then I went on Google and searched up “social media & self-esteem”, looking for advice on how to overcome this. I learned so much reading through those posts and I’m glad to say that not everything is what it’s seemed in their photos.
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Envy
One post I’ve read was Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Self-Esteem—and How to Stop It by Jamie Friedlander.
Her post was very relatable to me and informational. I’m not sure if I’m a bad friend but sometimes I too felt jealous sometimes when my friends have good news in her life. I’m happy for her but deep down, I’m just full of envy at how her life is going and whatnot.
“It’s a natural human instinct to judge our progress or success in life by seeing how we match up against others—what psychologist Leon Festinger called “social comparison theory” in the 1950s.”
And that was right.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
I did a post the other day about how to overcome judgment from others and it just seems like human nature to me. We can’t be helped to try to compare ourselves to someone else unless we learn how to stay true to ourselves.
“Today’s teenagers call this FOMO, or “fear of missing out.””
As still considered a teenager/young adult, I too felt that way. About others getting their license at 18 while I’m here still having my learners permit. About other people near my age socialising in real life and hanging out with their friends while I’m here at home, alone, voice calling my friends and having fewer friends than they have.
It’s very hard to contemplate the feeling that I’m missing out on things that “normal” teenagers are doing nowadays.
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Social Anxiety
Then there is one where they have part-time jobs yet here I am, unemployed because of my social anxiety and the fact that it’s really hard to find jobs nowadays. I did have work experience back then but I felt that I want to be my own leader and not get bossed around.
I felt better when others are on the same page as me but it just goes away for a few seconds until I felt my self-esteem lower again. And all of these revolves around YouTube & Instagram for me.
So you know what I decided to do? As someone who suffers from this, I decided to work on building my own business online. Sites like UpWork, Fiverr, Etsy and CreativeMarket allow me to start working from home and not having to deal with interacting with people face-to-face.
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Blogging
There are also times where I felt my self-esteem lower comparing my own blog (YES MY BLOG) against other bloggers out there with high traffic views. The world out there feels like a competition and it feels like I’ve lost. But my blog here is different from others.
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I want to share my views and opinions, I want to help those and myself on how to become someone better (hence why I chose the niche Lifestyle & Mental Wellness).
I may be interested in business and entrepreneur stuff like how to grow your blog etc. but I felt like that topic is for those who are knowledgeable about these types of things (I’m not haHAA).
The only thing is, it’s never too late to find the real you.
The thing is, behind those social media photos is not what it actually is behind the scenes. Along the lines of that, your life is just not “there” yet. We’re just at the beginning of starting somewhere to get to that destination.
Conclusion
What are your opinions on social media comparison and how do you deal with it?
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This is true and sad. Thus, I think we have to learn how to use social media positively.
In my case, I highly use it for information, learning opportunities and even business.
Same! Ever since I started a blog and a business online, I got to always be on social media always. I am grateful for social media but sometimes, I feel like its getting the worst to me. Information and learning opportunities? Definitely learning ftw!
This has so much useful information. I love how fun social media can be, but regardless of how hard we try not to care about likes and comments, sometimes it does get to us.
True, sometimes social media can be fun for a while like memes etc but I agree, it does get us with likes and comments. (Even it still gets to me to this day!)
Thanks for sharing how social media can sometimes make us feel bad. That can happen, but I enjoy keeping up with news of family and friends as it happens.
Hey! Definitely. I love writing about this topic. Keeping up with news with family and friends are great but with higher social influencers, it can bring a huge impact on our self-esteem. I certainly still keep up with friends and are happy with what they have going on in their life. 🙂
This is such an interesting topic and something that should be talked about more often! I’ve felt that FOMO more often that I’d like to admit and I’m now working in having a more balanced social media life.
That’s awesome! People who are working in the social media lifestyle should be able to balance it with reality/real life. Don’t worry, I’ve been having FOMO too but I’ve been thinking about it lesser than before I wrote this post. 😀
There are so many people that feel the same exact way! This is a very inspirational post. You really have a wonderful way of writing and knowing how to build people up. You have a spectacular way of connecting with people and not all people have it. Good Luck in all you do!
Thank you! That is exactly what I want my blog to be. To connect with people and make them feel like they’re not alone. 🙂
i consider myself as someone who actually sucks at social media. like, i’m probably getting more active lately just because of my blog. if it’s not because of that, i could totally check instagram once in a week. with trend of influencers and all that, i think it’s not surprising that social medias affect your self-esteem so much. my tips? avoid beautiful pictures as it’s either not real or not as easy as it looked like in the picture. focus on meme instead. 😛
I use to be the same before I started the blog too! I was not really a social person and when I use social media like Facebook or Instagram, it would just be for texting my mates to hang out. Now that I’m doing everything online now a days and wanting to start a career online, social media is so much important. The tip is also on point so it’s a good reminder than everything behind the image are flaws. 🙂
Very interesting blog. People do try to put on an appearance on social media to make it seem like life is going good, even if it’s not.
Thank you 🙂 And that is very right! Every single person does this (including myself)
Thank you 🙂 And that is very right! Every single person does this (including myself)
An important topic and it does make me think what the NEXT generation of young kids will be like. I think they do need to be so something taught at school on social media and how it can affect you. xx
Simply what I was literally thinking when I wrote this post! Agreed, I do hope they teach more about this stuff in school globally like they do about STIs, health, safe sex etc.
This is such a real issue and a relevant topic worth of discussion. The bullying, teen suicide, self esteem issue, relationship issues all seem to have increased with the rise of social media. We have to find a way to teach people how to channel that energy into something more productive and then understand that they are just photos and not your friends or their life.
Agreed! Last year, one of my favourite Korean pop idols (you might know who he is since it was early Dec and on the news a lot) suicide due to not being “perfect” enough and getting hate over social media. It’s very sad that the more this issue is being ignored, the more lives we are losing. I think your idea is smart and hopefully we’ll be able to find a way to teach more children and teens growing up the ways of social media and “perfectioness” in the future.
I love this post. It’s speak so much truth. I do find myself comparing myself to other people on social media. What we don’t k is is the behind the scenes. Some one once told me you can’t even someone life on social media because they control what they want to put out there. The 15 mins they share with us is not all there is to their life.
That is very true! I agree and know that we can’t control their own social media sharings and you’re right. All we do it let it be and move on. There is always something behind that 15 mins of flawless photos! 🙂
This post is awesome, you said this FOMO thing very neatly. We must compare ourselves only to our past self to check our progress but not others. All of us don’t have the same path, so we are completely different from each other.
I actually never thought about comparing my past selves because usually, I want to leave my past behind and move on.I might start comparing my old self to my new :’) Thank you and I totally agree, we’re all completely different from each other!
You are so right, it can be so easy to get caught up in the comparison trap. The thing to remember is that God created you for a unique path. He loves you and you were in His thoughts before you were even born. If you are living by His design for you with your gifts and passions, then nothing can compare to that!
Thank you for your kind words 🙂 You’re very true. We’re all created to be unique, loved and gifted. ~