Have you ever experience unconditional love growing up? Whether that be caring for a family member, a pet, or your significant other, you really don’t know that you’re actually doing it.
I grew up not know what this type of love meant and clearly from past relationships I was doing it wrong. So based on my experience, I’m going to tell you now.
In this post, you’ll learn what unconditional love means, my cons, how to practice this type of love and my favourite unconditional love quotes to better understand what it is.
So grab your mug of coffee or tea and let’s get right into it!
What does Unconditional Love mean?
Unconditional Love is when you give [no limitation] affection to another person without expecting anything back. There is no condition in order to receive this type of love except the satisfaction you receive when you put their happiness first. This type of love revolves around “loving who you are” as a person and not as someone else you’re trying to be.
There are other terms used to describe unconditional love like “love without conditions“, “being unselfish” and “mature love”.
The Cons of Unconditional Love
There are pros to unconditional love but based on my opinion I think there are cons as well. Here’s why I think this:
- If you’re in a relationship, you’re revolving your whole life for your partner. This could lead to an unhealthy relationship. I know this because I used to put my propriety of happiness to my high school boyfriend (I was young and naïve but I learned from my mistakes).
- “Loving your partner no matter how badly they treat you” is one way to a toxic and abusive relationship no matter if it’s physical, emotional and verbal. I may have mentioned about loving the way they are but this is not an excuse for their toxic behaviour. If you seek a friend, employer or family member in this situation, let them know.
- It could lead to a ‘codependent love‘- when a person in a relationship is needy or dependent on their partner. Some signs of this are difficulty in identifying themselves, making decisions or communicating in the relationship. Lowering your self-esteem, the “fear of abandonment”, false accusation of responsibility for the action of their partner and valuing the approval of their partner. These signs can lead to many excuses and unacceptable behaviour.
- Some unconditional love can turn to ‘conditional love‘- the behaviour of earning their affection. This can also be turned into a toxic relationship. Take for example with the parent and child, “I expect you to grow up and be a lawyer! Now you’re a photographer? I’m disappointed in you.” I can absolutely relate to this example because I grew up in an Asian family that showed conditional love (so I know how it feels).
How to Practice Unconditional Love
So what are some ways to practice unconditional love? Here’s a list of them.
- Acceptance: consenting to an offer or valid belief (for yourself and those around you)
- Respect: admiring their values, goals, qualities, and wishes (other opinions)
- Safety: being protective from any danger or risks (for both parties)
- Honesty: being truthful to the other party.
- Set Boundaries: limiting your expectation with the other party (this is very important as mentioned in my cons)
- Kindness: being civil, considerate and friendly with others.
- Compromise and Sacrifice: come to an agreement and giving up for the sake of others (if your partner isn’t willing to do that, however, you are, this is not unconditional love but “destructive self-sacrifice“).
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Unconditional Love Quotes
The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love. Stephen Kendrick
Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure: Acceptance, Understanding, Appreciation. Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart. Vera Nazarian
You are evidence of your mother’s strength, especially if you are a rebellious knucklehead and regardless she has always maintained her sanity. Criss Jami
To love everyone unconditionally does not mean to give everyone your unconditional time. Sometimes, to love completely, we must never see someone again. This, too, is love. This is giving someone the freedom to exist and be happy, even if it must be without you. Vironika Tugaleva
Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being. It’s not ‘I love you’ for this or that reason, not ‘I love you if you love me.’ It’s love for no reason, love without an object. Ram Dass
My definition of family is just unconditional love. The people who rely on you and who love you, they are there, too. Will Arnett
I often say that if I had one wish in this world, I would wish that every child could have a mother the way my mother was. And I never went without clothes, I never went without food… I never went without anything that a child needs. But above all of that, she gave me unconditional love. Anthony Ray Hinton
In fact, when care appears, unconditional love often vanishes. Martha Beck
I would want everyone to love someone in the purest sense of the word – an unconditional love in which you don’t expect anything in return. Michael Arden
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Do you have someone or something that you unconditional love? Install these tips to your own life to have a better and healthier relationship.
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