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Growing up in a world full of media, we can’t really see whether or not those stories about celebrities, gossip and dramas are lying or not. We also grew up with our parents teaching us to be truthful and honest yet sensing something fishy that our parents kept behind our backs because we were too young to understand.
I mean, it’s ok to have a white lie once in a while to protect us but can we truly lie our whole entire lives that will cause destruction in the future?
Grab your mug of coffee or tea and let’s talk about this really seriously.
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When I was younger, living in an Asian household was like living in a hell hole. My parents of course, like any other Asian parents, are very strict when it comes to being polite and educated. Not strict enough (thank god) but they had their “weapons” for discipline. You know, the broom or the feather duster. My mum had a rule of being honest. If we weren’t then in comes the broom. And that hurt like heck! Same goes when my brother and I fought a lot. If we fought and told our mum excuses, then the broom is your friend.
You know, when I go back to it, there were other times when huge lies didn’t involve anything with my family. There were times where my so-called “friends” talked behind my back in school or they talked to me behind another friend’s back. I hated it. I really don’t want to be apart of it but I didn’t want to get in trouble just for telling that other friend what this friend said about them. It’s like holding onto a guilty secret until they find out but the bad thing is, they involve you in it as an excuse just for listening. High school drama, what can I say? (This also bullying).
Here’s why it’s ok, to be honest.
You get part of the punishment but you don’t get the full one.
You might think the lying just to protect them is fine, you’re going to think that if they don’t find out the truth, then you’re good. You have a 50 in 50 chance that they would find out and if they do, then more problems will occur like breakups, hatred, and guilt. Or even worse. But if you tell them the truth, even if it’s really bad, they may get angry at you but they will end up forgiving you in the end because you told them the truth instead of lying.
You’re not holding onto guilts and you feel relief.
Have you held onto guilt and felt really self-conscious and bad that you just had to finally give in and be honest? Well, I myself hate holding onto guilts. If I do hold onto one, I can always write them down in my journal (cheap journal here) and figure out ways to solve them. It’s best to just let it go and lift it out of your system instead of keeping them down. Same goes for grudges. If you’re the type of person who hates someone so badly or you’ll do anything to ruin your life, then you’re gonna get bad karma (like I did back then) rather then letting go, forgiving them and move on with your life. There was this girl I really hated back then in my “STORYTIME – MY ONLINE BULLY FROM HELL” post but then I realised that it wasn’t worth hating a girl who I didn’t know in real life nor who is in my life that I should care about. Always care of those who are important in your life, not the random.
Just be balance
When you lie, you feel like a bad person but when you be honest, you still feel like a bad person because it’s something that isn’t good. It may hurt the other person but as long as you be real about it, then you’re good. But how about adding a balance of both? There are times where you need to lie a bit so you don’t have to let them down. Here’s an example, say you had to give your opinion on your friend’s outfit without hurting them but you find that outfit absolutely horrible! Try adding something positive and negative like, “It’s cute on you but don’t you think there other types of outfits out there that could look more stunning on you?” Or when you’re working on your job resume but you need to add a white lie in it to make yourself look good but also importantly have a chance to get you for the interview.
Did you finish your coffee or tea? Because I sure know I did.
The lesson here is to balance the truth and lie. And guys, don’t forget that you’re being real to the other person but also to yourself.